Likes

Today I decided to write a list of the colors I like so that I could make a wise decision for my office space. Instead, I ended up simply writing a list of things I like and don't like.

It went like this:

Likes: 
Midsummer, stained glass windows by Chagall, Xanadu, stories of detection, bridges over water, eddys and tides, flickers of emotions, paragraphs, luminous conversations, poise, tolling of the bells (for whom--it matters not to me!), Sussex, unexpected depths of experience and romance, studying people without speaking, talking with hints of melody, birdbaths, orange skies, Mr. Darcy, Flight of the Conchords, left handed people, Ludwig Van, snow capped mountains, English cottages, Magnolia Bakery, French kissing, funiculars, old men in chapeaux, Stanley Kubrick, clotted cream, lavender, stacked fire wood, apple cider, abandoned buildings, Loch Ness, bike bells, green shutters, Isle of Skye, Parisian cobblestone, Swiss cow bells, Mongolian horses. 

Dislikes: 
Prime numbers, the parsimonious, liver, breezeless and sultry afternoons, the artificial, mulchy earth, queues, processed food, daisies, paisley, George Clooney, global warming, disrespecting the elderly, purse snatchers, Posh Beckham, pork, poverty, lots of bling, rabies, nylons, lack of individuality, ultra low-rise jeans, Wal-Mart, globalization, osteoporosis, fanny packs, feeling emotionally empty, ignorance, DO NOT ENTER signs.

Confirmation

Here are two original poems written by one of my quiet and sweet 11th graders. I have long suspected that she knows, on a first-hand basis, just what this first poem is all about. I think the first poem is the reason she wrote the second. And so the cycle of poetry goes. We cannot help but show a bit of who we are. That's what I love about it.

I’m not afraid of you. 

Push me up against the wall.

Punch and curse, as usual. 

Swallow me up in your pride, 

Never wrong, just always right. 

Does it make you feel strong, 

when I’m looking up at you, 

on the ground, cowering in fear

How do you feel?

Up against the wall. 

Punch. Slam.

Up against the wall. 

Punch. Slam. 

Push me down. 

I’m on the ground,

being slapped around. 

Why me? 

They say you hurt 

the one you love, 

That’s your philosophy, 

Do you feel better? 

You’re no man, 

for pushing me around. 

Punch. Slap. 

Punch Slap. 

I’m not afraid of you. 

SOMETIMES

Sometimes I wish I could be alone, 

with only  Thoughts and I. 

We wouldn’t think of anything, 

we wouldn’t even try.

Sometimes I wish the world would say goodbye, 

and leave us be. 

If only we could run free, 

away from their judging eyes. 

Sometimes I wish I was no one, 

my Thoughts feel the same,

If I am me I have won,

To not be me would be a shame. 

Sometimes I wish I was asleep, 

When everyone tells me who to be. 

If I’m dreaming do not wake,

my Thoughts and I don’t want to see. 

Sometimes I wish I was alone, 

with only Thoughts and I. 

If I am dreaming do not wake, 

my Thoughts and I don’t want to see. 

Vogue.

I took way too many amazing photos today. Seriously. I'm too lucky.

This May Not Come Across Very Well at All

"I am friend of my girl friend, kind understanding, support, respect her and help her achieving her dreams, fun , love sports, i am a serious guy now!!!...i ve passed that adolcence fase.
i want to find a woman that we can be friends...that we can match eachother...i am trying...i will not give up untill i find her , i know she is somewre out there , so i will keep on looking for her ...my soulmate...i believe in that....that give sense to life ...love ...happy love...perfet love...to fall in love ...is the most wonderfull thing!!!"


I already know this post is destined to have the appearance of poking fun at people. It's trying desperately not to. It's really only poking fun at me, Stella. It's only poking fun at the myriad of situations I have found myself trying to meet people across this amazing planet of ours.


When I was living in Europe last year, it was not my first time. However, it was the first time that Europe seemed to have become just as effected by online dating as America now is. When I lived there before, I was always meeting people in organic ways. They usually involved going to church, meeting people at church, becoming friends with people at church, and then becoming friends with all of THEIR friends (who were mostly non-religious in Europe). That's how I always did it, and I've awesomely acquired a very successful social life while living abroad.


This past year, was not the case. First, I don't go to church anymore. Second, I was in Switzerland when it was too cold to do much, but I promised myself that I would go out and meet people when I moved to Portugal. I tried. When I could. I worked long hours and I could never quite plan things as my boss was flippant and hard to pin down and could ask me to work all night on a whim--not really caring if I had made any plans. After a few nights going out alone, I realized I was a target for drunk men looking for a hookup. I felt like one too. I didn't know how to meet people this way! Late, one evening, I looked on the Portuguese match.com website (three day free trial y'all!) and there were several hundred people signed up. Two actually had profiles in English.


Yes. I copied them down and just randomly found them in my email inbox when I was cleaning it out today. Yes, I am going to post them here. Yes, if you know me, these are even more awesomer. Yes, they might poke fun a little, but I am sure if I tried to write one in Portuguese it would come across a similar fashion and I would have a sense of humor about it and allow a very American guy to post it on his blog for all to read and smile about. Yes, everything about this post is ok. One is posted at the beginning of this post. And here is the other one.


PURE WRITING GOLD.


And no, I was not seduced into signing up and emailing them, though I should have because I like people who want to help me achieve my dreams, who think I can give them a sense to life and most of all, I enjoy the nature.

"Hi. I´m a normal person who is taking the best side of internet. I am intelligent, sincere and concentrate person. Like to travel, be with friends, watch the moon, walk on rain love love the green of the nature. I enjoy read a good book, go to cinema. I am a little bit shy at start. I enjoy cooking sometimes, specially cakes. A good person. Fun person, that enjoys the nature. Someone that show the feelings, very honest and true. I´m looking for someone that enjoys life, don´t harms their own health. That likes and protect the nature (as much as possible). Someone i can trust."




p.s.--this man can walk on rain!!!!!!

Christmas Wish #1: Don't Defer Your Dreams.

My gift to you this Christmas season is one I do every year. I'm going to share with you poems created by kids who have never really written poems before. They come from a pretty small town. They seem, most of the time, pretty apathetic about life in general. This is why I love the poetry unit more than any other. It gives them a place to voice things they won't usually voice...in a safe way--because it's poetry. It has a right to be emotional and loud when they are usually stalwart and quiet.

I usually have my poetry assignments mirror great poets that I teach them about. Then, they learn to write their own. For "A Dream Deferred" by Langston Hughes, they had to keep the first line and last line the same as his poem. Then they had to detail what they will feel if their dreams do not come true.

Original Poem


What happens to a dream deferred?Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.Or does it explode?

Student Poem #1

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it disappear,

like a love one long past?

Or make you impatient,

like a fishing pole cast?

Does it hurt and make you want to shout?

Or burn inside you, like a fire you can’t put out?

Maybe it smells good

like a lawn, freshly mowed...

Or does it explode?

Westboro Baptist Church

Few things in life make me get REALLY, REALLY angry. Very, very rarely do I ever feel wells of hate boiling up inside me.  But reading the newspaper this morning, I started to feel that seldom felt feeling of sticky anger towards the following organization. I'm one of those fighters that feels angry for a bit, stews for another little bit then, goes to the drawing board, sketches out my strategic game plan, and then works toward anything I can do to offer a solution. When fighting time actually comes, I am back to my happy self, because I have learned that happy warriors fight best.

But right this moment, I'm in the angry bit. If you haven't seen the article yet. Read it all here.

Camera Envy

I own about ten cameras. Not too bad. Three Nikons. One Canon. An old Russian Lubitel. A Lomo. A Holga. And a few other weird ones.


However, none of them compare with this new little find. I want it. Badly. It's about $350-500 dollars depending. So, probably can't get it until next summer. It is a Contax 2G and has a Carl Zeiss lens (which means pure buttery goodness in each shot). If any of you see one of these at a thrift store (known to happen). Please, please, please buy it and I will love you forever. I will also pay you back. Let's all help each other's dreams come true. Deal? Deal.

Pillows. A slightly boring post.

I have taken great delight (i.e. I'm totallyfreakingobsessedandneedhelpplease) in scouring every store I go into for the most random and beautiful and AFFORDABLE throw pillows I can find. So far I have bought three. This completes my living room. All in white.

I got this one from Pottery Barn:

I got it in White.

This is one I got at Pier One. It's fuzzy and totally different from what I usually go for:

Here is one I bought today at Urban Outfitters.

I got it in White.

I didn't buy this one of the Garden Gnomes, though I seriously debated about it (seems I want a gnome wherever I go lately!)

I'm keeping the ones for the living room all in whites. However, my cottage kitchen bench needs about three to five pillows in various shades of yellow. If you have any ideas....or if you make pillows....please contact me.

Thank you. You can all roll your eyes now :)

My Brother's Jacket

When I moved to Portugal in April, it was decided that we would all be back in Switzerland for winter this year, so I left my winter clothes there. A down filled black coat that I have had for five years, and it's still as warm as the day I got it. Scarves that were purchased from people. I try not to buy scarves from a department store if I can help it, I just like the character of the ones that get sold by those who had some part in the making of them. Never too bright, but soft yarns of white, linen, blues, and grays. Gloves that I got from Ocktoberfest....the cool kind with flaps that would make it easy to smoke if I wanted to. Cozy sweaters, warm socks with stripes. And some very, very fashionable boots that I were a gift from people who paid much more for them than I ever would...but boots in Switzerland in winter are a must....whole outfits are planned around such things.

Those belongings are now all sitting in the storage of my old boss's home. Never to be returned. It's ok. I'm over it. I've lost a lot this year and material possessions are high on that list. But, already, it's colder in Utah than I ever remember it being, maybe that's because I'm wearing a horrific sweater from Old Navy that does nothing to cut the chill. Maybe I'm getting old and my skin is wearing thin? Maybe I just don't enjoy freezing one bit and I feel I shouldn't have to anymore?

Rebuying all of those things is not an option, and, have you priced coats lately? I'm one of those people that buys something really nice, but then I wear it for about 10 years (no, kidding, my favorite lounge shirt is one I bought in high school many, many years ago). So, I went home to my parents to raid the closets there and see what I could make due with until I can afford a coat (which will probably be during the sales in April :)

I found a nice, cozy, parka. Too big, but it smells like my brother. It is my brother's. So many of his things, just hanging there. It has been about a year since I have physically touched my brother. I've seen him through the sad visitors screen only once in that amount of time too. Yet, putting his jacket on each day now, I find myself having some very weird J.J. Abrams-esque moments with my brother--almost like I know what he is thinking, feeling, doing, and trying at the moment I wear the jacket. I get a little carried away, and it's not like the jacket is the Ring of Mordor or anything, but it has definitely weighed me down with more than the several ounces that it weighs. It's an interesting feeling, and maybe I'm a masochist, or maybe I just miss my brother so much that I don't mind feeling some of his pain, or maybe I just think that maybe if I'm feeling it too he won't have to feel as much....whatever the reason, I keep wearing that damn jacket.

Owl

If any of you are in doubt of what the perfect housewarming gift could be to give a beloved friend...well, doubt no more. 


It's this little treasure "These old hopes and fears" by Kelcey Loomer. You can see her shop on etsy. I hope this isn't gone before I can afford it. 

Posing....

Last Saturday, while at Sam Weller's book store listening to David Sedaris, a very eccentric older lady approached me. She had on a leopard print faux fur coat. She had bleached, bleached blond hair that seemed unruly in a pretty awesome way. Where it looks like you didn't have to put any effort into it, and you probably didn't, but others try to replicate it with a LOT of effort. And she had red, red lips. Which I dig. And she had some cat-framed glasses. Which I also dig. 


In fact, I just thought she looked amazing and different. A lady that lives life on her own time fame and with her own rules. I noticed her the second I walked into the book store. Because of all of the aboved mentioned reasons. 


Imagine my surprise, as I was browsing through some used Beatrix Potter books for my niece for Christmas, that I looked up and she was standing right beside me. She looked at me, smiled, and said in a thick Russian accent:


 "I have something for you. Read it. Read it and then let me know."


And then she walked away.


Interesting. I opened up the folded piece of paper and saw a freshly written note:

Aw. Sweet. The rest of the note contained some information on her art. Now, I know she might give these to any tall blond that she sees. But that's ok by me. I just love that she went around and asked people to be part of her art. I often see people I want to photograph, but I get nervous to just take one of them without their permission (people can be paranoid that way), and then I get nervous to ask them too. So, I'm thinking of doing something similar. Just give them my card and tell them I'd LOVE to photograph them if they are willing. Flattering? Weird? I'm on the fence still. 

K & K

This is Krisanne. She is one of the easiest people to photograph I have ever photographed. She got dolled up (via my sister) in vintage and modern looks to go out in the FREEZING weather with me and indulge my desire to photograph her. She's into art. She recently was teaching Art in Mexico and she loves colors. She's pretty colorful too. She's tiny and has big eyes. Deadly combination, I hear. You can see the whole shoot here. And you can read her awesome blog here. Seriously. How glad am I that this girl is now living in Utah now!

This is KaRyn. She is one of the  most talented people I know. She's a musician and she's also busy saving the world. I love her. We met in Korea when we taught English at the Sha-Sha summer camp. She is putting on a concert in January. If you're around, let me know, you can come with me. Also, she has one of the most amazingly brilliant personalities ever. And it shows. In every photo. You can see more of her photo shoot here. And you can read her witty blog here.

The Girl

I'm such a sucker for a melancholy love song. You too? Then we're a pair.

Film Preview

I recently started shooting film again. It's just so darn rich and dreamy and detailed in a way that digital just can't be. Here are a few sneak peeks at some upcoming film photo shoots on my photo blog. You're going to LOVE them as much as I did.

These photos are unedited. Untouched. Taken with my very cheap canon and with no lens of any merit. And yet, I think I love them

Desperately Seeking Blue

In an earlier post about my journey to San Fran, I mentioned that I found an awesome vintage shop and I bought two awesome vintage pieces. Please forgive the AWFUL photos...really, it pains my artistic soul that I don't have better photos to post for this, but it's really snowy and dark outside and the dress is wrinkled and I'm not in the mood to iron.

Ok.

The first dress is the one featured here. Made by a very popular San Fran designer it dates back to 1951. 

It's make by Nelly Gaffney and is in FLAWLESS condition. Just perfect for me and my complexion and for just under $100--truly a steal. Have you seen the prices at Anthropologie these days?

This is a delicate little nighty circa 1955 from Saks Fifth Avenue. I got it for $40.00. Which, in my mind, is less than what you would spend at Victoria Secret for something not quite as charming or delicate or finely detailed.

The neckline is what sold me. And the blue.

I found this little number while thrifting with one of my dear friends. We popped into Savers and found this dress in about five minutes. It was $7.99.

Seriously. Could my love affair with powder blue be indulged any better than this?!

What color are you pining for these days?

Wallpaper. Decided.

After a week of pouring over every kind of wallpaper (I know, I know, you've been waiting with baited breath, haven't you?)--I have to go with my gut here. I found two that I love. They are expensive. I've never spent this much on anything having to deal with decoration because I've always rented. For the price of this wallpaper I could buy an original Amanda Blake piece of art (which is on my wish list of things for my new home.)

I can only afford to paper one wall in the two rooms I am choosing--but these two walls will pop like you can't believe.

Drum roll please:

Opinion Needed.

What are your thoughts on decals....specifically--this one--say if I were to put this in my blue bedroom. Trendy? Tasteful? Tasteless? Ideas. I'd like your opinion.

I Will

And I'll do it EVERY DAY.

Who you callin' Yella?

I have a small back bedroom that I have to figure out how to convert into my office AND a guest room. It's small. It's only 9 x 14. It's narrow. It's got three doors to deal with--entrance, closet, and bathroom.

I've not really ever thought of doing much with yellow, but lately, I'm liking it. My two main rooms will be a neutral gray. My bedroom will be a blue. The kitchen will be white. The bathrooms will be a neutral hue as well...so the back bedroom, I'd like to make it a bit more fun. I googled yellow rooms and REALLY loved these ones. I just need to decide how to fit a desk, bookshelves, a spare bed, a dresser, and a chair into such a small space.

Suggestions?

Every day I write the book.

Legs. I like them.

I also love these looks from j.crew.