Monday, April 19, 2010

She & Me

My VERY Mormon sister decided she didn't want me in her life this past week. There are many things that I do that she does not approve of.

She takes her five children to church for three hours on Sunday. They wear perfectly pressed dresses, their hair is always in place, and they each carry their scriptures.
I walk in the mountains each morning and commune with my source.

She completes her Visiting Teaching each month so she can "count" the numbers.
I gave the homeless man (the one who held his hand out to me as I was passing by) my apple yesterday.

She gives money to her church every month to insure that she won't burn in hell.
I bought my unemployed friend's five children winter shoes.

She teaches her children that homosexuality is bad.
Many of my best friends are gay and I love every little bit of them.

She believes that women should only be "wives" and "mothers" and that I cannot reach my highest potential if I do not enter into the bonds of matrimony.
I do not ever want to put a label on who I am and what I do. I do not believe in the power of a marriage license.

She lives her life by the Bible code.
I live my life by the Golden Rule.

She believes you can only be happy in this life if you are a Mormon.
I am happy.


Holly said...

I am so sorry she has made this choice, Stella, and so proud of your for being happy anyway.

You also spread happiness.

Michelle said...

i love you friend.

i think your religion sounds lovely and i am thrilled you are happy.

twirl unabashedly said...

i hope this isnt inappropriate, and i dont mean to make light of the situation, but maybe you should mail her a COEXIST bumper sticker, and a note telling her you love her *in spite of* her religious views.

you're practicing the best kind of worship.

Nubian said...

I ditto the above comment!!

Rowena said...

I started out feeling :(

I ended up feeling :)

but there's still a little bit of :(
I'm sorry your sister can't accept your choices.

EmilyCC said...

What a beautiful post to emerge from pain and sadness!

I can't quite understand why your sister has done this, but I am so impressed with the way you've handled it all!

Christine said...

I'd much rather be in your shoes than hers!!
Remeber it is Gods place to judge, not hers.
ps, I have a "better than thou" sister too!! it SUCKS!!

sammy said...

wow great post!!! you're great

everything you said is how i now look at life as well. its much more freeing and just downright feels 'right'.

i would MUCH rather give to someone's need than cutting a check to a mass audience. i guess i do both but i major in the former and minor in the latter.

Stella said...

Thanks everyone. I read a comment by Rumi that is becoming my new mantra with my family:

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."

Fletch said...

I am sad. Do you lump me into this catagory of women who live by the Bible code and, therefore, not the Golden Rule?

I try to do both (is that so impossible?)...and I, too, think it is important to meet others in that field you speak of, despite our difference of beliefs.

The Mormon women who fall into your catagory of hippocrisy are few and far between, in my experience. Most are just trying their best and are a work in progress. Give them the benefit of the doubt, as you would wish them to do with you.

I am sorry about your sister, though. She'll come around.

Stella said...

Fletch, In reality, I try not to lump people into a code or a rule. When it came to my sister bombarding me with emails over conference weekend, and ultimately her deciding to sever contact because I am "WRONG" and she is "RIGHT" then I do start to worry about this culture of the church that puts numbers on things, and rules for living, and one size fits all. Not that these things can't be good, when you personalize them for yourself and allow others the freedom to do the same, but when you want to squish everyone into the same box--which to me shows an emotional immaturity on the PERSON--not as much on the general rules/codes of an institution--then it gets hard.

Throughout the leaving process, I have been met with more hypocrisy than I ever could have imagined. I think, when I was in it, I didn't wasn't a victim of it. If that makes sense. Utah, also, probably had something to do with it.

By the way, I'm so glad you commented. I forget to read private blogs sometimes, but now I'm going to!