Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Something like a Pick Up

I am buying a house. It is cute. It is small and white and feels like home. As I wait for the paperwork to go through, I've been vintage/used/old shopping. I've been scouring little shops and finding bargains and eclectic relics that will be stunning in my house. Most people might not get my style. That's ok. I get it. I like it.

I've been hitting this one store pretty often. They get new stuff in daily, they are super reasonable, and I've found three freaking awesome things already. The latest was an old church window from a 1906 chapel. All original glass, huge, arched, various decorations on each pane. Stunning. I bought it. I'm going to hang it on a wall--just as it is. The lady selling it to me kept trying to tell me how to "fix it up". The whole love relationship started when I saw how used and worn out it was!

But that's not the point of this post at all.

The point is that I think one of the owners tried to pick me up today.

But I'm not sure.

The last three times I've gone in he has told me that I smell good.

OK. The third time was a little creepy, but ok.


Him: "So, how tall are you?" (he didn't even say 'hi' when I walked in to pick up this awesome table I just got for a steal!)

Me: "Six foot."

Him: "Wow, that's really tall."

Me: "I suppose it is, at least, that is what I have been told."

Him: "Do you want to know how tall I am?" He said this sort of flirtingly--it was at that moment I paused--wait, was his "How tall are you?" His pick up line? Wait, is this happening? Wait, how do I handle this? Do I want to be picked up by him?

Me: "Um, sure."

Him: "I'm only 5 foot 9."

Me: "That's a perfectly acceptable height." I said because he sounded a bit sad about his height.

Him: "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Me: (not smooth dude, not smooth) Some mumblings about how I date a few different people, but not one main person.

Him: "How tall are the guys you date?"

Me: (seriously, this is the best you've got? You're NOW going to ask about the heights of guys I am dating! Dude, losing points. Ask me about my favorite place to get coffee, if I've seen any good movies, I'm buying an antique table for god's sake, ask me about antiques! Show me your antiques! Give me a discount! That's the way to a woman's heart.

Me: "They're tall, I suppose. It depends."

Him: "Taller than me?"

Me: "Yes, sir. They are ALL taller than you."

The end. **

** The most AWESOMEST part of this story is that I have started to look at men again and think about dating them. My broken heart is so utterly, completely, relishingly healed, that, like the love masochist I am, I'm ready to go out and let it be fragile with someone else.

But that all depends on how tall they are :)


Rowena said...

awesome story, all the way around.

Jenny said...

I hope you find someone with a taller personality than this guy.

Holls said...

I love this post. I want to be you. I want to be healed. Time takes too much time. I'm excited for you though so I will live vicariously through you.
And really?! Nice pick up line.

Katherine said...

Nothing like a super awkward pickup line to make you feel good about yourself! I love it. Um, do you mind sharing where you're shopping? E-mail me?

Andrea said...

That.. was.. hilarious! BTW, my favorite vintage/antique store is the one on State in the old part of Murray. Can't remeber the name, but you can't miss it. West side. :)

JMH said...

I'm 5'6 when I wake up.

There's a lot that I don't understand of the dynamics of height and relationships, and to be honest I think that a woman of above average height and a man of below average height might be able to enlighten each other as to the particulars. Tell me what it's like.

For me, shortness is like a disadvantage of opportunity. There are few opportunities to compete. But love is not a competition, it's a feeling, it's a revelation. And so we go.

emmy gardner said...

Stella, I love your blog!!! Don't settle, I know it's tough pickings but there really are too many amazing, artistic, and interesting men in this town.