Sometimes I try and believe in the goodness of men. Sometimes I try to believe that they aren't all the way societal cliches claim them to be.
Sometimes I try to believe that they will listen to me. That they will be interested in what I'm saying and not how pretty it is when my mouth moves.
Sometimes I try to believe that it doesn't matter if I have make-up on that day or not because I never care if they have make-up on either.
Sometimes I try to believe they will see past my blond hair and full mouth and cleavage and see me as a whole person.
Sometimes I want to believe that it is my wit that charms them, and nothing else.
Sometimes I like to believe that they really do want to be making eye contact and that it is not a chore to not look at my lovely breasts (I really do have brilliant breasts). Or watch my ass sway as I walk somewhere.
Sometimes I try to believe that they won't their manhood insulted if I know more about politics then they do. That they won't want me to walk around in 5 inch stiletto heels so that I can turn them on. That they won't feel the need to avoid real conversations. That they actually do want to communicate and commit.
Sometimes I like to believe that the fact that I have an ivy league education, that I own my own house, that I own my own car, that I am completely independent and confident doesn't make them feel like they don't know what they could offer me. Sometimes I like to believe that men know they are actually much more than just providers and protectors. That they can be needed in a woman's life for more reasons than just those. So many more reasons.
These attempts at belief go out the window when I change my facebook page photo to one of my recent photo shoots. Photos I have TAKEN, not photos that I am IN. The photos I take are of very stunning people most of the time, and when I put a new one up, I usually get about 10 to 15 requests from strange men I have never met who send me a one liner like "Hey, you're hot (though, let's be honest, in this day and age it's usually, "Hey, your hot.")
That's really when my beliefs about what I imagine the amazing possibilities that reside within a man sort of wane.
Running - One of the things I'm going to start doing is running. I've signed up for a 5k in April here in SLC and I'm signing up for a 1/2 Marathon in the Hamptons d...
6 years ago