Friday, January 22, 2010

A Mexican in Switzerland

Let's face facts. If life were fair, I would have been Mexican. If I were Mexican my life would have many aspects that it now lacks. If I were Mexican, I would know what it's like to be TAN! I wouldn't have to put SPF 10,000 on every time I go out under the sun. I wouldn't always have these super red cheeks. I could have long-brown-soft-thick-straight hair. People would actually be able to see my eyebrows without me having to paint them on (though, in regards to leg hair, it's been pretty nice to be this fair!). I'd speak Spanish fluently. My hips might be more appreciated. I'd probably be just a little shorter, which would be cool.....and maybe, just maybe I'd finally have that penchant for latin dancing that is missing in my blood. Plus, I could roll my Rs like Charo.

But why I REALLY think I should have been Mexican is because tortillas are what I dream about at night (even more regularly than Hugh Jackman). A good enchilada (and even a bad one) wins my heart over any boy. Rice and Beans are like Air and Water to me. I would eat this kind of food all day, every day, and then some. I would bathe in Sour Cream if I could. I would shower in Salsa. I would wash with Guacamole (these are not appetizing metaphors I'm using, so I'm gonna stop!)

PITY ALERT!!!

THERE IS NO MEXICAN FOOD IN SWITZERLAND. I have found ONE section of ONE store in ONE tiny town that has some SALSA. It's called, as you can see from the photo, "Chunky Salsa Dip"....um, did anyone ever think that salsa could sound unappealing? Yeah, me either...but there you have it. And let me tell you, it is NOT good. I don't know what it is made of exactly, just some stewed tomatoes or something? It's a tragedy really. AND IT COST ME 6 DOLLARS FOR A SMALL SMALL POT. If this country didn't have chocolate croissants I'd....And yeah, I have a feeling that my semi-annual trips home will be spent sleeping in the Cafe Rio parking lot....


As a sidenote...my new health blog is up and running....





Speaking of Charo...here's a GREAT little sketch from The Carol Burnett Show

3 comments:

Hey, It's Ansley said...

When I lived in France, a very nice girl from Mexico taught me how to make tortillas. Haven't done it in years but it's not hard. Than you can just have people mail you packets of seasoning mix and make some decent stuff. It's no chips and salsa at the end of a long day but pretty good substitute. Don't remember the exact recipe but it was basically flour, oil, and water.

Holls said...

That breaks my heart over and over!! NO Mexican food?!? That was kinda how Hawaii was. I found ONE good place on the opposite side of the island. when I returned last month, it was closed. Sad sad day. I'm just glad I moved back to CA where there's nothing but Mexican food :D

Would you like me to send you a care package with some delicious salsa? It doesn't have to be refrigerated till after you open it. What do you think?

Scotty Too Hotty said...

Chunky Salsa Dip, sounds the the name of a water aerobics class set to latin music, just imagine all the arm flab swinging back and forth amid the tight swimsuits and speedos on old people.