Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Boxed up Dreams

From the moment you're born to the moment your grown you are constantly put into boxes that shape the definition you have of yourself. Usually we think these are bad, but there are many boxes I wouldn't want to escape from. I'm a Woman, a feminist, a daughter, a teacher, a photographer, an artist, and a million other things. The beauty is that YOU get to determine what boxes you want to expand, which ones you want to crawl out from, which ones you'll snuggle into, and ultimately how you organize it all into one beautiful life adventure.

I had my boxes neatly stacked. I had a vision of what my life would hold. I had happiness in each corner. Love is there. Soul is there. Music is there. Family is there. Friends are there. Laughter is there. It's all there. Just there. And it's so so so good. And you just don't think it can get any better. Right.

But guess what. It can.

As a little girl I ALWAYS knew that life was going to be a big deal for me. I believed I was special. I don't think that's a unique thought at 5 or 7 or 9 or 12 or 15...but then again, maybe it is. I've had big dreams that I've chased that have brought me here and I realize the absolute biggest dreams are just starting. That's the most exciting adventure of all. Things my brain couldn't even create out of incredulousness are now all seeming like regular life expectations. Effortlessly they just keep coming.

I haven't felt a lot of emotions lately for obvious reasons. I've been pretty numb...dealing with a lot of pain...more than should be dealt with at one time for any of us humans. And yet, for the first time this weekend, I finally felt that welling up of undeniable excitement and the possibility that dreaming big and watching those dreams come to fruition has started to catch fire within me. It's a flame. It's starting to burn. I see it all. No one is in my way. A world of support around me. A new world waiting to be discovered. A new person to fall in love with. A new language to learn. A new map to navigate. And lots and lots of new people to love and help and learn from.


Honey, I'm gonna need some bigger boxes.


Olivia said...

I love that line, 'that life was going to be a big deal for me'. Lovely.

Holly said...

I am dying with curiosity about these developments in your life.... Can't wait to learn more!

Ruahines said...

Kia ora,
Your life is special and you are really reaching for the stars this year, bumps and all. I think we have those moments when are young as well. I recall vividly seeing in a book this beautiful picture of a place called New Zealand and feeling an unworldly pull and attraction to it....